Crazy For You aka The Kanta Thing
by Bleeding on the Ballroom Floor
Summary: Everyone says Sirius is the craziest guy in Hogwarts. What happens when the craziest guy meets the craziest girl? Craziness ensues, duh. SiriusxOC.
1. Rude and NotSoRude Awakening

**Crazy For You (aka The Kanta Thing)**

**Chapter One: Rude and Not-So-Rude Awakening**

**Disclaimer: Bwahaha! I PWN IT ALL! The Harry Potter universe, Sirius, James, Lily, Remus, Peter, Lucius, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Professors McGonagall, Dumbledore, Slughorn, Binns, and others I can't remember! Moaning Myrtle! Hogwarts! … right, and Moonstar is canon. -- Come on, people, I don't own it. Sadly. I don't even own half of the mini-plots.**

**When it gets dedicated, you'll be the first to know.**

**Rating is T. Language, a definite. Mentioning, but not actual writing, of mature romance. Possibly violence. Nothing you can't handle.**

**I love reviewers! Love them eternally!**

**Major props out to my horrible beta but wonderful friend Prongs. Moony, who lives! The role-play crew. The real-world crew. Oh, and a special thanks out to the little crew, fifth graders and below, who will never see this!**

**On with the show…**

"KANTAAA!" sounded a loud screechy voice right in Kanta's ear. A fuzzy figure was kneeling calmly next to her bed. Kanta rubbed her ear gently, head throbbing from the rude awakening. Oh, how she wanted to get back to that wonderful slumber…

"Mellie, did you have to do that?" she asked tiredly. No one knew how loud Melissa Lauren Harper could be when she wanted to. This was probably because she never wanted to. Everyone knew exactly how loud Kanta could be when she wanted to. It was loud enough, but not quite as loud as everyone would expect from her. Sirius could scream louder without even trying. He beat Melissa. Actually, Kanta thought she heard him now.

"Of course," said Melissa, taking her bag and throwing it over her shoulder before walking out. Kanta had only recently become friends with her; they weren't the usual since-first-year long friends, but they were both very comfortable with each other. Like now, when Melissa didn't say anything when she left. Some-- no, scratch that, most-- people would have gotten annoyed. Nevertheless, Kanta had her way of not caring.

As she sat up, Kanta rubbed her temple. It had been such a welcome relief from her usual nightmares, the dream. It was odd, but odd she could handle. Odd she always handled. Odd was her job, and her identity. This was normal odd. Dreams were supposed to be odd. _At least there weren't those horrible eyes, _she told herself, before collecting herself and jumping out of bed, shaking back short auburn hair that had one white stripe in it. She tuned in her Wireless Wizarding Network receiver and dressed to some rock songs.

---.---.---

"PROOONGS!" screamed a voice that literally echoed through the entire tower. Sirius was jumping on James's bed. James started so quickly it scared Sirius backwards off the four-poster. He looked like he just went very quickly from happy to angry. Which he did, as he had been grinning broadly in his sleep.

"You know he hates to be woken up like that," came the calm voice of Remus, who was sitting on the edge of his bed. No one needed to ask why. One word would emit desperately from James's mouth- 'Lily'. It was all rather sad, as her hatred from him had shown no sign of improvement. However, James's obsession became deeper and deeper.

"You should see a therapist," suggested Peter, who was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, "Get some help."

"He does not need some therapist to ask him how he feels and try to find an inner meaning that doesn't exist!" exclaimed Sirius. Therapists really annoyed him. They didn't do any good, and that he knew from firsthand experience. One gave up on him, and another was fired after three years of no 'improvement'.

Remus gave a sly smile, "Peter was probably talking to you, Sirius."

"Well, then he's really off his rocker!" Sirius said, ever louder, throwing his hands up in distress but immediately letting them fall to his side. He then went into a muttering rant, in which he mostly talks to himself and then asks 'Right?', to which one but respond 'Yeah' or be yelled at for not listening to him. Remus stepped off the bed and poked James lightly in the cheek. Sirius whipped around at loss of his audience.

He sighed, "I'll get something to wake him up." Sirius puffed up his chest and walked gallantly out the door to a Remus who was looking downwards and shaking his head. "Sirius, put on a-" he said, and then stopped when he realized Sirius wasn't listening.

"I don't want to know," he said resignedly to Peter.

Meanwhile, Sirius was sliding down the railing to the stairs and nearly knocked somebody over with his 'graceful' landing. "Oh, sorry Kan-Kan." he said, realizing it was Kanta. She simply nodded a "No problem" to him before walking on to the tune of a mutter or two. But most of the girls seemed happy; Sirius was shirtless.

"LILY-KINS!" he yelled, before running over to where she was tutoring a very dim kid called Ed in Muggle Studies and clinging to her neck.

She didn't struggle, just fumed, "Black, get off of me _now_." Obediently, he let go, and looked at her sadly. Ed just cocked his head to the side and watched them like a mildly interesting television show. Whatever television was.

"Can you do me a big, big, large, gigantic, humongous, do-it-and-I'll-stay-off-your-neck-forever favor?" he asked her, eyes pleading.

"No." she said flatly, "But in the interest of curiosity, what?"

Sirius didn't look crestfallen. He simply gave her a long stare. "Help me wake James up?"

"Would that involve touching him?" she asked, eyebrows up.

"Possibly poking his cheek? But that can be rearranged." Sirius said in a buy-this-wonder-bra voice.

She shuffled her books and put them on the table. "Eddy, watch these for a moment. I'll be right back."

He showed no sign of recognition. Possibly, he didn't realize that he was 'Eddy'. However, Lily got up and walked to the stairs of the boys' dormitory with Sirius next to her, bouncing on the balls of his feet and skipping when he walked.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Lily said to the stairs.

"They don't turn into a slide like the ones to the girls' dormitory do," Sirius told her as she was about to put her foot on the first step. "Remember when I found that out?"

"Fleetingly," she muttered through her teeth, and walked up the stairs. Peter squealed when she came in and ran to put a shirt on. Remus just waved hello to her as if this happened every day, and there was no need to put a shirt on. Though, behind her back, he shot an evil glare to Sirius that was so far past Remus's mean line, Sirius had to laugh.

Lily looked around at them, confused. Then apparently decided not to ask what they were doing. "So… What do I do?" she asked, and then started to whistle lightly under her breath.

"Stand there and look Lilyish," Sirius told her, and pulled James's eyelids open. He whispered into his ear. "Jamesie, Lily's here to wake you up. Come into the real world."

"Right, sure." came a subconscious James, refusing to open his eyes. Remus thumped his head lightly on his bedside table.

"No, really. She's here," he told him, and James simply looked as if a fly was bothering him. Lily smiled.

"I am here, y'know." she said simply, and he jolted completely upright, and in a matter of seconds was standing next to his bed in his boxers, blinking hard. Lily smiled uncomfortably, looking like she wanted to get a Restraining Order on a James Potter in his pink boxers.

"Nice boxers," she said to him, nodding, then turned to Sirius, "Remember you promised not to cling onto my neck ever again." With that, she walked out, yelling, "You're welcome!" over her shoulder.

Remus half-heartedly thanked her and James turned a red that rivaled Lily's hair. "You… guys… Lily… me… boxers…" he stuttered. Sirius and Remus laughed at his inability to speak. He then gave a sly smile and threw a pillow at Sirius. "Nice way to get me up. Can you do that every morning?" What was that in his eyes? Hope.

"Sorry, mate, I already had to promise not to cling to her neck anymore," said Sirius sadly.

Remus wondered, "You going to cling to her head now?"

"Nah, I'm thinking waist or leg." smirked Sirius, and threw on a shirt before walking toward the door. A few feet from said door, he stopped and whipped around to the side, where Peter had just finally scrambled into his shirt backwards and inside out, with the tag near his chin. It was an ugly shirt, anyway. "Might want to fix that, Worms." he said, and continued his walk out the door.

"Don't you go near her waist!" James yelled after him, but he was smiling. Sirius wouldn't dare and he knew it, but James liked to be paranoid.

**Author's Note. Some questions to review with, for this chapter and all.**

I truly love my characters. I respect them. I also respect that they have downfalls. Is anyone a Mary Sue or Gary Stue (perfect) character? What do you think of how I present canon characters? Do I include Peter enough… too much? What of Remus, usually endlessly booky? Also, this all makes perfect sense in my head. Does it make any sense to you? Is the plot progressing too fast or too slow? Is my description scratchy? And if so, any pointers on how to improve it? My original characters. Do they seem worthy of the roles they play? I planned this all out on paper, a long plot. But are there any ideas you would like to see in the story? Especially ideas for Marauder pranks, I am open too, despite my growing list of ideas. Okay, I've badgered you long enough. Until next time!


	2. Sporks and Eggs

**Crazy For You (aka The Kanta Thing)**

**Chapter Two: Sporks and Eggs**

Kanta sprinted full speed into the Great Hall doors, hands in front so as not to seriously injure her head with an impact. "Whee sunshine!" she cheered. Students turned their heads to her, and most looked like they were in awe at how much she could love the world. Kanta poked a random student in the head as she passed their table. Thankfully, it was a fifth-year Ravenclaw boy, and not a seventh-year Slytherin.

Giving the table a light poke, she slid into her seat and looked at the food around her. She gathered a half-plate of scrambled eggs, two pieces of eggy bread, and one piece of bacon. Pouring sugar on her eggy bread and pumpkin juice in her goblet, she turned toward Melissa, who was just taking her seat at that moment. Melissa shook her head slowly and gave a low laugh.

"Looks like your scrambled eggs are going to have a snowball fight on your eggy bread." she told Kanta, eyeing the mound that was growing on her plate with raised eyebrows.

Kanta brushed it off with a humored smile and explained, "Don't be silly, snow isn't as sweet or soft as sugar."

"THE LIGHT! THE SUN! IT BURNS! THE PAAAAAAIN!" yelled a dramatic voice at the entrance to the Great Hall. Contrary to Kanta's entrance, everyone turned their heads and they were in awe at how much a Gryffindor could hate light. Sure enough, Sirius was standing there, with Remus, James, and Peter edging away from him and his spotlight. His arms were crossed at the wrists and held in front of his eyes to shield him from the bright sunlight that was flooding into the Great Hall. He had a habit of looking up, which could hurt sometimes.

A good third of the students laughed. Sirius, after giving himself time to adjust to the light, grinned. He turned to James, "It's getting harder and harder to get the whole school to laugh."

Remus chimed in, "Did the whole school ever laugh? Slytherins bite their lips in an attempt not to."

"Of course they did," James said dryly, as if he had rehearsed this until it was drilled into his skull with a jackhammer, "With what Sirius did before everyone was sorted."

And that is a story to be told another time. Because it deserves proper audience, proper context, proper person to explain it, et cetera. So we fast forward to when they're seated.

Now the Marauders sit three-quarters of the way down from the Staff table. Which is an estimated quarter from where Kanta usually sits, somewhere in the middle. Sirius sits next to Remus, across from James who is next to Peter. This is so Remus can moderate how much sugar Sirius is pouring on his food, how much sugary substances he is taking in, and how much caffeine he drinks.

This time, Sirius decided to skip the sugar and go straight for the caffeine. Instead of the usual pumpkin juice, he grabbed coffee. The coffee was usually reserved for seventh years, but Sirius poured it into his goblet, filling it halfway. He filled most of the rest with milk, added three spoonfuls of sugar, and stirred. And he did this all rather fast so Remus wouldn't stop him, the stirring causing some coffee to overflow.

He was almost done with his calculated stirring when Remus grabbed his hand. "Sirius," he said, almost pleadingly, "No caffeine." And with a simple drought charm, Sirius's coffee was gone.

"Screw you, Moony." he muttered, but reached for some pumpkin juice and soon forgot that he had even tried to get coffee.

"A SPORK!" yelled a voice excitedly. For a moment, all of the students looked around to see where the noise had come from, some immediately thinking it was Sirius. Sirius, however, was trampling out of his seat and over to the source of the noise, eyes lit up.

There it was. An amazing sight to behold. A crossbreed of eating utensils. The end result of "the fork ran away with the spoon". A spork. In the hands of the auburn-haired Kanta… something. Kanta wasn't a big fan of her last name, and therefore very few people knew it. Sirius took a seat backwards between her and Melissa.

"Yay spork!" he said, poking the sharp prongs, then pulling his finger back. He rubbed it gently with the other hand a muttered a small "Ow."

"Hiya, Siri-dude," greeted Kanta, taking no notice of his apparent pain. She was cradling the spork in her hands, rubbing the bent-spoon part across her cheek with the prongs leaving little white lines in her skin. When she either noticed she was cutting herself, felt the pain, or simply got hungry, she poked the spork into her scrambled eggs and held it in midair for a second, leveling it with her eyes, watching it wobble.

Before it got snatched out of her hand. Sirius grabbed the spork, eggs ad all, and ran back to his seat, not sitting fully in as he half-expected her to chase him. Which she attempted to do, falling spectacularly out of her seat and running before she hit the floor. He had just enough time to stuff the entire thing in his pocket and stand up before she nearly ran into him.

"I want my spork!" she whined, simply looking him in the face. She wasn't about to reach into his pocket with Maize Mayes sitting right there, looking like she wanted to growl. But she did want that spork back. Sirius glanced down the Gryffindor table and spotted another of the utensil over by Lily Evans, who was a good deal closer to the staff table. He maneuvered around Kanta and ran down there, Kanta in tow.

"Lily, can I have your spork?" he asked, trying not to sound out of breath. He didn't wait for an answer, which would inevitably be "no", before he took it and turned to run back when he realized Kanta was less than a foot away from him. He held up the spork and handed it to her.

He gave her a smile, "Here you go."

She narrowed here eyes, but could not resist being happy that she at least got a spork, if not her own spork. "Thanks," she said, and walked simply back to her seat and sat down to eat what was left of her over-sugared eggy bread.

**Author's Note: I know my chapters are short. But they're more manageable that way, and it more evenly divides when I write and stuff. I have to write a whole chapter at once or I freak out. The only distraction allowed is 3D Pinball for Windows- Space Cadet. My high score is 1,873,250. Woo! And I've finally discovered I can write when I'm not really 'in the mood' to write. So chapters will come, people, chapters will come! If you liked, review. If you didn't, review anyway and say why not. 'Kay. Thanks. Bye.**


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